Dude it’s almost time to step on a crunchy leaf

i am just an animal why am i doing all this

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

its been said many times before but the joy of having a little beastie that loves you in your house all the time is unparalleled

I’m a hater first bisexual second

im putting a fruit sticker on you. im sprinkling blades of grass on you. im offering wedges of my tangerine to you. etc.

Google how to make ibuprofen work now how to make painkiller kick in RIGHT NOW like NOW make ibuprofen start working instantaneously please please please

What the fuck are you talking about

anyone else feeling the Effects lately. due to all the Things

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

circuit board blanket by strike gently co

this is inexplicably my favorite tiktok ever it brings me to tears every time why did he do thatttt